Hope & birthdays

Hope is what gets me through it all. I know that you have all been there for me but, one person specifically has been there for me day & night. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me & I feel closer to her than anyone else, these past few months. I love her more than anyone in the world. she has been my rock & my spine at times. I needed her guidance through heart break & through nights filled with tears. She was there, no matter what. Through the late night talks and the early morning emails. She was there. Always holding my hand & my hope was always with her.

She has taught me to love myself & be myself. It is really hard for me to do those two things. She is an amazing girl..

When life gets tough Pilar is usually the first girl I would go to. She is very smart & sweet in her ways about life. I love her so much! Having a class with her this year, her last year, was just icing on the cake! I can't believe that she is leaving me in the big world of high school craziness by myself. haha but, I know she is only one quick email or phone call away.

I also have this totally awesome & beyond beautiful sister who turned 18 today!! She is the best thing in the world. I am so blessed to have her in my world! I love her to death, I could not have made it through my freshman year without her & my sophomore year is becoming ten times better just because I get to see her do what she loves & be who she is. :) I wake up every morning and I am more thankful to see her & have her there.

When she plays soccer you can just see her light up inside. She is my beautiful big sister. Teaching me right from wrong & good from bad. I love her for everything that she has done for me. I am feeling so loved with her every morning. I would not be who I am today without her guidance & care. She is the world's best sister & deserves everything in the world & WAY more!! 

Ever since my birth we have been sisters, best friends, & always had each others backs!! <3

xoxo..... Hailey ♥

Boy oh Boy | life lately

Here are some recent photos of my daily life. I recently went on a date and wish I took a photo but, I didn't :( Then I always love my beautiful texts & convos with my big sister kyley. I also love the late night texts with the beautiful Dominique. She makes me understand & believe. I always have room for angie & our late night talks whenever we have slumber parties! Then getting advice from my wonderful Godmother, Cathy, makes me feel more secure. Playing/babysitting a sweet whitney & adorable kevin... HEAVEN! Much more......

Ok so I am odd. with my odd number of photos. :) I love odd numbers, haha.

Hope you are all doing fabulous!

xoxo

omgiamasophomore

Being a sophomore, wow, I can't even believe I just typed those words. I have come so far, believe me I have been through some pretty tough stuff & to be here today, saying that I am a sophomore & have made it this far :) It is just so incredible.

There are certain people that have been here through it all, know the tough spots and things that happened. They were there through all the tears & sweat of my lovely little life:  

    Melissa, Carrie, Pilar, Sam, Paola, Aubrey, Diane, Grace, Angie, Kayle, Lissie, Kendall, Francis.

I really want to point out the one and only boy, he is really great! He is so sweet & when I accidentally sent him a text about Lissie's death he was so supportive & caring towards me. {might I add it was 12:11 AM!!} He is always there for me & he tells me so :) I am always there for him, too!

{I encourage all of those who have any issue of any kind, to go to the Love project page. I will contact you through email, not anonymous, if I feel you should be answered privately or though the comment feed. So once you post a comment check back within 24hrs. I know school just began again for a bunch of us & it comes with drama & some summer drama continuing so I want you all to feel comfortable contacting me & asking anything. :)}

Sophomore year is getting off on a great start! I am so excited for things to come & meeting new people. I already made two new friends <3! I like all my teachers, homework I love! I have only had math so far but, I am expecting more tomorrow for the three day weekend! I love having my little aub with me!! She is so sweet & love seeing her every weekday!! I enjoy the lunches we have and the chats!

So happy, you know who you are, that I am talking to you! You are a big part in my life, in my sophomore year! I never want us to leave each other. I couldn't imagine my life without you, girlfriend!!!

Senior year, wow I cry every time I think of kylie leaving me this year. I never want her to leave, she is my big sister & a big part of my life. I wish nothing but, hte best for her & I know she will be here fore me & Come back for all the big moments in my life :) <3

Fifth grade, sorry IK again, WOW!! angie is a fifth grader! I was just chatting with my old friend Paige about when she was four!! that seems like so long ago. I feel like she is growing up way tto fast and needs to slow down, fast before she graduates high school! I want her to be my little girl forever. I love her to pieces & my little sister can never grow up.

I feel like everything is going too fast, things are happening, incredible things however it is sad it admit these grades we are in. How far we have come to getting here. How far kylie has come to getting to Senior year. I wish she would just slow down & take it all in :)Besides the fact that the littlest of the Aliamus' is in kindergarten{he is a true Aliamus and only 20% Pineda}

I have had a serious talk with a friend of mine about things I do & how they affect others, her in particular, & I am working on lots of things that I need to fix & just think before i say certain things & do certain things.

When it comes to boys....WELL, I will always have boy problems, it comes with high school & all the other things you can't dodge, in your life. I have to face it. Some will leave & some will stay forever. the point is to focus on the ones that make you happy & you want to be around them. i have also learned to trust your best friend & if she is having second thoughts about something it is because she wants u to be happy & not in a failing relationship :)

 

I would like to point out the blog button of the month :) it is a new page on this blog for someone special that I want to thank & just be grateful for. Before you head over to the page to see who it is I want to give you pretty little hints:

she is gorgeous,
smart,
independent,
loving,
sweet as pie,
one of the best friends of mine,
great advice giver,
a blogger,
loves country music,
random,
great baker,
loves her family & friends,
great swimmer,
a great supporter,
<3 :D

My little Balerina

For those of you who follow regularly, you know I have a ten year old baby God-sister.
She's growing and changing everyday.
As for our relationship though, she'll forever be baby girl.

That statement right there makes me look like the golden big God-sister.
I'm not.

I'm not good, great, nor even fine.
Actually most days, I'm too busy to even notice/think of her.

Only in the last few days have I started to notice how heavy this makes my heart.
Between work and play, I have absolutely no time to be grateful for someone who I hope to have as a best friend for life.

She's so incredible.
Beautiful.
Powerful.
Brilliant.
Grateful.
Filling.

She's everything I am, everything I'm not, and everything I was never bold enough to be. & she's part of me. We're knit together, somehow. Which is a really incredibly powerful thing.

The time I do spend with her, like really really spend with her...
Is as bright as the sun.

That said- those times are probably counted on one hand. Which brings me to tears.

Last Tuesday I was watching TV.
The clock read about nine.
No one else was awake.

Thinking about her. That angel baby.

A moment long enough ago to have forgotten but sentimental enough to remember. A moment lost in time. Lost in nights where it was more fun to go out. Lost in moments that fell victim of being too cool for that baby girl. Lost in hours of homework. Lost in thought. Lost in the endless efforts to find myself.

& for the first time in my life....
I was lost in tears that recognized my admiration for her.

So there I was. Sobbing while watching to "Pretty little liars".
Probably one of my lowest lows.
Just silently begging god....
To show me the strength to do more, love more, empower more.
All in her name.

Because she is seriously the best.
& I just don't know how to show her that.

So when I finished the show I walked into the room where she was playing and I climbed up on the bed right next to her.

"whatchya doing?" 

Silence....

& then that sweet voice......
"Just playing on the iPad, wanna see?" 


She was so excited that I asked.
Seriously, she looked so happy.

So I watched this funny little game on her iPad for about three minutes.
& then I praised her for it. Because she was excited about it.
Which made me excited about it.

& as I was about to walk away....
She closed her iPad.
Then went back to look at photos it took her to the last viewed photo, it was a picture of her and I at Tahoe

She didn't even realize that I saw.
I awkwardly slinked away into my kitchen.
& with that background image in my mind, I cried.

That night was such a dynamics changer for me.
I realize how much I need her.
I realize how much she also needs me.
I so desire to change how we interact.

So I pray over her.
& I pray that I will be able to love her well.
As well as I love her in my heart of hearts.
Even today counts though. Even those three minutes made an impact.

Baby steps.