what i am | a dreamer.

 {excuse the bad words...this is mine&my dad's favorite song right now!! haha :) we so funny....}

i am a dreamer of many things, possible & impossible. blessed to be here today. i am who i am because of my three closest friends: carrie, kristen, paola. {in fact my mother asked me today in the car who my four closest friends were... i thought of those three girls & stopped, and said "they are my best, closest, & most loveable friends." they mean the world to me. without them... i am nothing special. }they touch my heart everyday with their strength, hope, love, & compassion. i wish them only the best in life. a few other things you may not know about me.....

me.

i write love letters to a boy i have never met.

i fall so easily in love.

then get easily hurt.

i spend long nights crying.

i remember every memory that is special to me.

i cherish the rainy days.

i love the clouds above.

i feel love everyday.

i wish i could drive.

because if i could i would leave.

camping makes me excited.

music makes me cry.

i know i already met one of many loves of my life.

i know what i know because Jesus told me so.

i am a follower, love, & believer in God.

i will stand up for what i believe in.

i will not be ignored.

i speak my mind.

i am blessed.

i have trust issues.

i can not make up my mind fast.

i love my sister more than she will ever know.

i am hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

i only try things once, unless i like it..then i do it again.

i am a soccer lover.

i would happily take a bullet for: my mom, dad, sister, dog, my family, carrie, kristen, paola, & melissa.

me.

just a few facts about me. i  hope you have a better understanding of my, hailey aliamus', life&beliefs&hopes&dreams.

xx-hails

beautiful kindness .

when he kissed my check, i melted. i felt so wanted & needed. he makes me feel that way, daily. he makes me think about the little things in life. the beauty of a little peck on the check, or the sweetness of a good-bye hug. loving him makes me better. makes me feel beautiful. things i have never felt before. knowing him makes me a better person. such a young boy can make such a BIG impact on my life..... it isn't crazy, right?

"you mean the world to me. never leaving my side at the sight of my terrible side. i feel blessed to see your beautiful eyes everyday. loving you makes me blush..."
"these past few days have been tough but, we made it darling..."
"tears drop on my notes.
notes of love, hope, memories.
the thought of leaving you forever.
now that is impossible.
it wont happen.
ever.
tear drops on my notes."
"i love you more than you will ever know my sweet girl."
"blessed to know you, lucky to have met you."
"you have become my world.."
"crazy girl, don't you know that i miss you? i wouldn't dream of leaving you alone. hopeful that you feel the same. you know the real me. i know the real you. dreams collide and make a beautifully crazy reality. you are my crazy girl..."
"worst fear: you forgetting it all.."

it is crazy, the feeling of having and holding someone and one day they are gone. it is crazy, loving someone so much that when they leave you still love them as you always did. it is crazy, living this beautiful life...

knowing you know kristen and have her as a friend makes it easier to breathe, literally. she always reminds me to breathe & be positive. two best lessons anyone could teach. she makes me put everything in perspective, changing my outlook on life, boys, & my own beauty. helping me through the tough days in my life. changing my future & loving my past. being confident that i will forever be loved and cared for.

never give up, there is always someone that loves you & would miss you terribly. you just have to find you happiness & stick with it. living you life to its fullest. crying as hard as you want, just make sure you never cry about it again. knowing you are blessed with life and love, for that is all you need to succeed. :)

I should have known | Film Friday

 

{just taking it night by night, day by day, journal entry by journal entry & finding my self....}

Hi! I am back, I have snapped back like a rubber band. I should have known that it was going to happen soon. {I will use that line a lot...} I am so happy to be back & e myself again. I love it when I go through the pain & tears because in the end I get rewarded by God's love & strength to move on & find myself again. I should have known he would come through. I love all my friends for the support & coming through with all the sweet hugs!  have to say, I really did need that hug from Pilar today in photo. I should have known it was coming.

Today will be a day known to me as a peaceful day. The day I made peace with the past. I should have known she was going to say it. Aafter talking with my Godmother, cathy, she helped me realize that I can move on without really moving on. I can be happy & regain my life without being mean. I can eat lunch with my friends & not feel bad or sorry. I would have never thought this way unless she guided me through it. I am excited for tomorrow & can't wait to see my friends, all of them. I will wear my smile proudly & for real, this time. I should have known it was ending. Yes it is over but, it is only the beginning!

xoxo..... Hailey ♥