4.23.2013

Carrie | friends.


so my birthday is on friday & i will be spending it with my closest friends: carrie & paola. they make me feel so loved and cared for. after this years trails and triumphs, they are still with me. i am so glad to have them in my life. 
when you meet people like these two they make a big impact on you. they "imprint" on your life & leave footprints on your heart. makes you feel blessed and all warm. carrie has been my rock, my sister, my caregiver. she is there through the lonely, tear-full nights when i can't seem to find the light in anything. i dont feel deserving of my birthday this year. i feel that it should be celebrating carrie & how much she has given to make me happy & help me through my worst days. i am sorry that i never get to show you or give you anyting that will amount to what you have given me in these last two years. :)
i love you so much carrie, i hope your days are filled with love, hope, & happiness!!
short&sweetness!!!
xoxo hails

4.18.2013

friends are forever....sometimes | personal

"I truly believe that when dealing with anybody you meet, you should start by trusting them, you know? like any new friends you meet, any new person you meet, i think you should truly believe the best in them. And um, the first time that they tell you they’re sorry, I think you should believe them. And then, if they keep doing the same exact thing that they say they’re sorry for, that means one thing guys…. is that they’re not sorry." 
Taylor’s intro to “You’re Not Sorry” (X)

4.06.2013

books i read | good reads

so lately i have been really into reading teen fiction & i love the stories! i am not as picky as i was but, still can't read a book i don't like. here are most of the books i have read & a brief description as to what they are about & what is in them. {some of them are not appropriate for girls under 15ish} i am going to put a '*' meaning it is very deep & more mature book.

http://www.eileencook.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/UsedtoBe.jpg

used to be by Elieen Cook {two books in one, not a series.}
The education of hailey kendrick.{romance,high school}
In The Education of Hailey Kendrick, Hailey is tired of always doing exactly what’s expected of her. She’s going to prove she’s not perfect by breaking a very big rule in a very public way…with a very unexpected partner in crime. When Hailey gets caught, she loses everything—her best friend, her boyfriend, her popularity, her reputation. Now Hailey is up for anything…maybe even the boy she never noticed before. But even with her new bad girl image, she still has to ask herself: How far is too far?

 Getting revenge on lauren wood. {mean girls??}*
In Getting Revenge on Lauren Wood, Lauren and Helen used to be best friends…until Lauren betrayed Helen in a manner so publicly humiliating that Helen had to move to a new town just to save face. Now Helen is back, and she’s planning to bring down her former BFF by taking away everything that’s ever been important to Lauren—starting with her boyfriend. Watch out, Lauren Wood. Things are about to get bitchy.


Unraveling Isobel {ghost story/romance}
Isobel’s life is falling apart. Her mom just married some guy she met on the Internet only three months before and is moving them to his sprawling, gothic mansion off the coast of nowhere. Goodbye, best friend. Goodbye, social life. Hello, icky new stepfather, crunchy granola town, and unbelievably good-looking, officially off-limits stepbrother.
But on her first night in her new home, Isobel starts to fear that it isn’t only her life that’s unraveling—her sanity might be giving way too. Because either Isobel is losing her mind, just like her artist father did before her, or she’s seeing ghosts. Either way, Isobel’s fast on her way to being the talk of the town for all the wrong reasons.

series... 1,2,3.

Bad girls dont die. {ghost}
When Alexis's little sister Kasey becomes obsessed with an antique doll, Alexis thinks she is just being her usual weird self. Things get weirder, though, when their house starts changing. Doors open and close by themselves; water boils on the unlit stove; and an unplugged air conditioner blasts cold air. Kasey is changing, too. Her blue eyes go green, she starts using old-fashioned language, and she forgets chunks of time. Most disturbing of all is the dangerous new chip on Kasey's shoulder. The formerly gentle child is gone, and the new Kasey is angry. Alexis is the only one who can stop her sister — but what if that green-eyed girl isn't even Kasey anymore?



 From bad to cursed. *? {ghost}
Alexis is the last girl you'd expect to sell her soul. She already has everything she needs—an adorable boyfriend, the perfect best friend, and a little sister who’s finally recovering after being possessed by an evil spirit.
Alexis is thrilled when her sister joins a club: new friends are just what Kasey needs. It’s strange, though, to see how fast the girls in the Sunshine Club go from dorky and antisocial to gorgeous and popular. Then Alexis learns that the girls have pledged an oath to a seemingly benevolent spirit named Aralt. Worried that Kasey’s in over her head again, Alexis and her best friend, Megan, decide to investigate by joining the club themselves. Soon, Alexis trades in her pink hair and punky clothes for a mainstream look, and finds herself reveling in her newfound elegance and success.
The club’s connection with Aralt seems harmless, and before long, Alexis can hardly remember why she joined in the first place.Surely it wasn’t to destroy Aralt. . . . Why would she hurt someone who has given her so much, and asked for so little in return?


As dead as it gets. {ghost}*?
It's been three months since Alexis helplessly witnessed Lydia Small's violent death, and all she wants is for her life to return to normal.
But normal people don’t see decaying bodies haunting photographs. Normal people don’t have to deal with regular intrusions from Lydia’s angry ghost, sometimes escalating to terrifying attacks.
At first, it seems that Lydia wants revenge on Alexis alone. But a girl from school disappears one night, and Alexis spots one of Lydia’s signature yellow roses lying on the girl’s dresser the next day. Soon, it becomes clear that several of Alexis’s friends are in danger, and that she's the only person who can save them. But as she tries to intervene, Alexis realizes that her enemy is a much more powerful ghost than she's ever faced before... and that its fate is tied to hers in ways she couldn't possibly imagine.
Not even in her worst nightmares.


Bittersweet.{relationship&goals}
Once upon a time, Hudson knew exactly what her future looked like. Then a betrayal changed her life and knocked her dreams to the ground. Now she’s a girl who doesn’t believe in second chances, a girl who stays under the radar by baking cupcakes at her mom’s diner and obsessing over what might have been.
So when things start looking up and she has another shot at her dreams, Hudson is equal parts hopeful and terrified. Of course, this is also the moment a cute, sweet guy walks into her life—and starts serving up some seriously mixed signals. She’s got a lot on her plate, and for a girl who’s been burned before, risking it all is easier said than done.
It’s time for Hudson to ask herself what she really wants, and how much she’s willing to sacrifice to get it. Because in a place where opportunities are fleeting, she knows this chance may very well be her last....


Keeping secrets{two books in one, not series.}
Saving zoe******{very deep & mature, some sex & drugs.}
It's been one year since the brutal murder of her sister, Zoë, and fifteen year old Echo is still reeling from the aftermath. Her parents are numb, her friends are moving on, and the awkward start to her freshman year proves she'll never live up to her sister's memory.
Until Zoë's former boyfriend Marc shows up with her diary.
At first Echo's not interested, doubting there's anything in there she doesn't already know. But when curiosity prevails, she starts reading, becoming so immersed in her sister's secret world, their lives begin to blur, forcing Echo to uncover the truth behind Zoë's life, so that she can start to rebuild her own.
Prepare to laugh your heart out and cry your eyes out in this highly addictive tale, as Alyson Noël tackles the complicated relationship between two sisters and shows how the bond can endure long after one of them is gone.

Faking 19 *****{even more sex & some drugs, very mature.}
Two girls. Two fake ID's. One little white lie.
On the surface, seventeen year-old Alex has it made. She's beautiful and smart, plus, she's best friends with M, the absolute most popular girl in school. Feeling bored with their affluent Orange County suburban town, Alex and M decide to check out L.A.'s glitzy nightlife scene.
Pretending to be nineteen, Alex and M, meet Trevor and Connor, two rich older guys. At first, Alex can't believe her luck—she gets to hang out at hip Hollywood house parties and downtown L.A. clubs. These weekend trips into the city become the perfect distraction for Alex, who is secretly struggling with her failing senior-year grades, her absentee father, and her clueless mom.
But after the initial fun wears off for Alex, she is forced to reevaluate her friendship with M, who is hiding some secrets beneath her perfect Burberry-clad exterior...

i hope you all consider these wonderful books & keep in mind the last two are very mature!!! :) 
xx-Hails.

4.02.2013

mistakes & worries | reality.

so today, i want to write a a post{this post} about worried & mistakes. some advice, i guess, could be taken from this. mostly me sharing & explaining recent life moments. :)
while life goes on for everyone else, my life seems like it stays still for days on end. it hurts to stay in the past & not want to move ot do anything. it is challenging to walk this road alone. working on my "image" of myself & how others see & hear things from me. i want to be heard & seen in a beautiful light from everyone. it IS true you must love yourself and see yourself in a beautiful light before you can expect others to see you that way. it will be tricky but we can all make it through. i chose to walk that road alone. i am choosing to talk to god daily, to pray & think about others constantly, i am choosing to look at myself in the mirror and say 'you chose the right thing, you can only be the best you can be today. i believe in you, i am always here for you.' sometimes you just have to depend on yourself for support and love.
when you make a mistake it becomes harder and harder to look at yourself and say that to yourself. and mean it. you have to have courage and strength to wake up and keep going on to the next day & the next issue. you can do it. you can get over the boulder. you can do it all. you have all you need. there are sometimes when you have struggles and hardships but you always have all the love & care you need. it is all there. you may not see it or feel it but someone out there in this BIG beautiful world loves you. never forget that. 
once, you move forward and forget the lies, tears, loss', you can move on and you can be a better you. everyday we are building and becoming stronger & more good at being ourselfs. some days you will find it hard to look at yourself, you may be ashamed, you may just be sad, but i am telling you that the pain makes it that much more worth it.i know what you are thinking, 'what?! is she crazy?!' the answer is yes, yes i am crazy. but for me it is like running. when i feel the pain & want to stop, that is when i get the best rush to keep going & keep running faster. the pain makes me want to go further to rid the pain.
i hope that makes sense. i know you can all wake up for the day & believe that you truly are beautiful, gorgeous, smart, & loved.

xx-hails.