something like goodbye

why doesn't life fix itself and change on its own?
why does the wind change?
why don't friends remember to tell you when they change?
why does the wind go away in the summer?
why isn't happiness growing on trees and growing fruitfully?

people change and forget to tell us. that sentence has been going on and on in my head for the longest time and i can't seem to figure out the truth. the answer. why do people change without telling their closest of friends. why do they make choices and forget to inform us, the ones that care so much, the ones that put effort into helping them become who they are today. or rather who they were. changing is easy. now i remember very well writing the post explaining how change is the hardest thing in the world and how i despise it. however, since then much about me has changed and all of my perspective on life has appeared differently. everything since then has been nothing but an amazing journey to where i am today. loving change and encouraging people to change if they don't like themselves. because really isn't that all we do everyday? change coffee flavors, change clothes, change our minds on projects, change our thoughts about the days to come, change our views on people, WE CHANGE. and that's okay. embrace it and love every piece on that change.

which is why i changed. why i am changing everyday and continuing to do so. why i will no longer be posting here. is to change my messy life and story. i'm changing and i hope you continue with me on this journey. i love you and you can continue to follow at this new blog:
http://becominghailey.blogspot.com/

xoxo-
hailey :)

college road trip . trips

Summer Road Trip from hailey on Vimeo.

sorry I haven't posted in ages. i've been very busy in recovery, school (senior year), and so much more! i wanted to share today with you a video i made last night about my trip to colleges in WA, OR & it was so much fun! we got to see family in WA. we visited three colleges & we also got to see lots of amazing things in WA!! I went with my dad and we left at 5am the day after school got out! 

i hope you all had an amazing summer & that you are preparing for fall!!


xoxo-Hails

june . personal

dear june,

please bring all the happiness, peace, excitement, & love in the world to me. seeing as how these last few months haven't been the most nice or joyful months. i need this. i need a peace of happiness to hold onto for my whole life. i need this month to go on adventures & enjoy them, to laugh & really feel happy, to help & be 100% honest. i need you to bring me happiness. i need just full disclosure with my mental state, physical state, & spiritual state. i need to feel the warmth of friends hugs. i need to feel the hope in senior year and that it will be better. i just need you to shine brighter than anything imaginable! 

please, just be that for me.

-hailey 

I have so much hope in june and in the fact that it will bring me all those things!! this month is CRAZY!! that probably doesn't even begin to describe it, though. it will start with a cleanse with my mother! so i finally convinced her to do a cleanse with me! it will be a diy cleanse so we don't have to spend lots of money on those crazy juices. haha, i will be making us smoothies every morning for the school hours & then when we get home I will make another for us :) i'm very excited, my mom is still on the edge about it but, i know she will come around!

then the week from the 10th to the 12th I have finals in all my classes, good: i have minimal days. bad: i have two long finals each class. i am putting myself through so much, i need all A's and i am allowing only one B. i will be horribly disappointed in myself if i don't get those grades, i will be so mad at myself!!! it is frustrating. 

then, i will be leaving at the beautiful hour of 5 am the next morning, 13th, to head over to Oregon and Washington to go on a college road trip with my daddy! we have been planning this for about a month now, and i made an itenerary and we got our maps! so excited for those fun adventures with him!!!

then I will get back on the 22nd and then i will have the 23rd to unpack, do laundry, & repack. this day will make me crazy & i will be so tired! (I have to repack for my german trip)

then we will wake up at around 6am to triple check that i have everything, go on one last run (before i leave the country), shower, & head to starbuck to get coffee then on our way to the airport! We have to be at the airport by 8:30am and our flight leaves at 10:05am. i won't be back until the 28th of July.

some very exciting things will be happening in my life! I am so excited to go to germany with the two most important people in my life, Anna & Patricia. i couldn't make it through without them and their support. i'm truly blessed to be able to go do all these things & see all these places!! i will keep you updated with photos & posts, i promise!

stay beautiful,

h

bridget . friends

there have been too many days to count that i have gone to school or even just going to photography class upset or stressed or worried about something going on in my life. but for every day that i have been upset or stressed there is twice as many days that a friend has been there to inspire & keep me going. reminding me that it gets easier, nothings permanent, & you can do anything you set your mind to. while in photo class she taught me these three things, probably without knowing. I can honestly, only hope to be as admirable, inspiring, & beautiful as Bridget. she has been nothing but honest, lovely, & kind to me.

photo class itself used to be that thing that would distract me and let me leave all my worries until it became another stress and worry. people in that class began to make me anxious and make me uncomfortable. now, people are that outlet and distraction for me. bridget can easily talk to me or even just be there and i can oh so easily distract myself and forget all the things that are going wrong because she reminds that things get easier & it will get better. I haven't had a friend like that in a while. i'm sad to see her go, soon. but won't ever forget her. i'm completely blessed to be able to call her my friend. i couldn't ask for a better friend & role model!!

i'm so excited for her to go off to college in santa barbara & grow up into a beautiful, strong, independent, smart, women! she will do amazing, great things in her life!

thank you for being you, bridget! i'm truly excited for you big bright future! you are an inspiration to me daily!

stay beautiful,

h

truth is . friends

no matter how many times i try to write this post without crying, it won't work. i just have to suck it up and write it. for the 17th time & just cry my way through it all. 

four months ago i met a girl. i met her through tumblr this crazy place that i thought would just be a blog for me but turned into this "match maker" and somehow i found her. i found this girl, no women, that changes me everyday. that inspires me to keep breathing & keep laughing. i couldn't do this thing without her. back to the beginning though. it was this crazy time in my life when someone i love and care for dearly, was going through lots of things and she couldn't figure out any of it. i could see it in her eyes, in the way she "smiled" and in the way she would walk. she wouldn't tell anyone about her brokenness and her aching heart. she felt so alone. and i wanted to reach out to her and hold her through it all, telling her how much she is loved, wanted, & valued. but because of our rough past, i didn't know if it was right. i was seeking help & didn't know what to do. i talked to my mom about it but, not much help there. then i realized that i had reached out for a little love on tumblr before and it worked beautifully. so i did what i always do, went on tumblr looked through about found this beautiful women named Ashley. i hate to bother, burden, & bug people about my problems so i messaged her asking if i could ask her for some advice about a friend, it only took me one panic attack & two long days to send even that. she replied promptly and i told her the gist of my situation. she told me things i never thought of, related to me in ways i never thought possible and i followed her every word. she could see how much i wanted to help my friend and she helped me through that. then after her lovely, perfect response to my first message i wanted to know more and make sure i was doing the right thing, so i messaged her again: I thought it would be okay. I just wasn't sure. And I am going through basically all the same emotions and things as her but I keep it in. Makes me depressed but I don't want to be. Half of me knows I can help her and give her hope but the other half knows I am close to giving up myself so I don't know if I can give it 100% which makes me sad. 

she then walked me through that and talked to me about her experience & give me tons of good advice. then for the first time in so long, i got to the bottom of her response and i read: Also, may I ask why you want to give up on yourself or is that really personal? Just wondering if maybe I can help at all.

i cried for two hours wondering, why on earth would this beautiful stranger ask about me? why would she care? she doesn't care! she is just being nice. i had this conversation with myself in my head about the whole thing. wondering if it was at all real! i finally said, hailey you've got nothing left to lose. talk to her. tell her your thoughts, your struggles, not all of it but let someone in! please, you can't do it alone anymore!!!!

so i told her it was a long story and asked her if we could talk somewhere else. we exchanged numbers and two days later, i got the text that i will never forget, simple but oh so meaningful and it was truly the beginning to my journey to slowly but surely recovery that i'm on right now. we began to text daily and then three days later my first mental breakdown. she knew basically everything. i told her every thought, emotion, struggle everything. it was truly something i needed. i hadn't told anyone before her. i told her that night what i was thinking, every little dangerous thought thinking she won't answer she is asleep. she doesn't really care. she is just being nice. it's stupid, don't text her. but i did and she was there every second of that night. she and i text everyday. we went a few days without talking for health reasons but, we never lost each other. she has been there for me all along, it just took me a while to find her. she was always pushing me along. keeping me safe & never failing me once. i knew after two months that she wasn't leaving. but even to this day i have those moments of hesitation and curiosity. does she want to walk away? is she going to wake up today and think i'm not important anymore, that she would be better off without me? nope!!!!!! she never fails to remember me & think of me daily. i tried to give her a day to herself without me. it didn't work out. she was actually worried about me. and by the end of the day i had five texts asking if i was okay, and why hadn't i texted her all day. those little reminders that mean she doesn't want to leave. she really is in this with me, for the long hall. and that after i'm healthy & happy, she'll still be here for the good, bad, & the ugly. she knows it all and i could never get rid of her, I DON'T WANT TO EITHER! she means too too much to me for me to ever want to lose her. if i could i would fly to her in a second. if i could i would hug her forever. if i could i would send her a letter everyday with ten reasons why i love her and admire her. if i could i would go back in time and message her earlier. if i could i would be with her everyday, follow her to all her classes, do all those things that she does and just be constantly inspired. she is truly the most admirable & inspiring women i've ever met. she makes me day every day & knows me better than i know myself. Ashley has become a part of my family, my heart, & my recovery. i can't go a day without getting a text from her. i can't do lots of things without checking it with her first. and i just can't get through without her support. every word she says comes with love, hope, & inspiration.

i'm far from recovery but, she keeps me going. she keeps me on track. she "holds" me through the long, tiring nights of tears. she is my HOPE. INSPIRATION. most importantly she is my SISTER.

i couldn't do this without her. i'm truly beyond blessed.

stay beautiful,

h

struggling . personal

{ source }

I just want for once someone to be scared to loose me.

-march.22

I’m so easily forgotten.

-march.21

i don’t know where i stand anymore..

when you say we need to talk, i take it seriously or in a good way that “wow she really wants to talk to me about something!” but, you fail to tell me more, like i don’t know. maybe when? where? what it is that we might be talking about? like seriously.. and i can’t say that i want to talk to you because you do that EXACT same thing. however, i suggest time & place but you fail to respond. i get it!!!! your life is hard, mine is too; you have stress for school, i do too; you don’t always want to hang out with me, me either. but here is what’s different! i make time for you, i go out of my way to figure out when & where i can hang out with you and talk. i try my hardest, i give you ALL my energy, love, compassion, & effort. and if i’m being honest i’m sick of getting NOTHING back! since when did you give up on this friendship? sense when did you leave? let me know what’s going on. i can’t read your freaking mind!!! sometimes it hurts me for you leave me out of these things. if there is a problem, tell me. if you need space, tell me. if you have a question, ask me. don’t assume i will know what’s going on in your head without you telling me. i swear, i WANT to help, i want to understand & answer as many questions as possible. but if you aren’t putting in the effort. should i continue???

-march.18

nobody wants to talk to me…

-march.17

i tried to help. i tried to be a good “friend” but… i guess i’m not helpful or a good friend.. 

-march.16

i mean nothing to you i guess.

-march.12

late night thoughts... i just can't hold on for this "brighter future" anymore..

the only reason i'm still barely breathing, support from my parents & Ashley.

xoxo-Hails

rant . personal

when you say we need to talk, i take it seriously or in a good way that “wow she really wants to talk to me about something!” but, you fail to tell me more, like i don’t know. maybe when? where? what it is that we might be talking about? like seriously.. and i can’t say that i want to talk to you because you do that EXACT same thing. however, i suggest time & place but you fail to respond. i get it!!!! your life is hard, mine is too; you have stress for school, i do too; you don’t always want to hang out with me, me either. but here is what’s different! i make time for you, i go out of my way to figure out when & where i can hang out with you and talk. i try my hardest, i give you ALL my energy, love, compassion, & effort. and if i’m being honest i’m sick of getting NOTHING back! since when did you give up on this friendship? sense when did you leave? let me know what’s going on. i can’t read your freaking mind!!! sometimes it hurts me for you leave me out of these things. if there is a problem, tell me. if you need space, tell me. if you have a question, ask me. don’t assume i will know what’s going on in your head without you telling me. i swear, i WANT to help, i want to understand & answer as many questions as possible. but if you aren’t putting in the effort. should i continue???

doing my best . personal

i am only human.

after a while, in the night, the texts stop. the emails stop. the messages go away & friends go to bed. and i am only left with a mean uncomforting little voice in my head. i fall apart all over again. i usually wait an hour or so before i go to my last resort in calling ashley. i first look at the list of girls i saved our texts & wonder who would answer, care, & be honest. nobody. i can't look at one of those names and go "OH YA!! They care so much & will wake up & want to help!!!" so i cry. i wallow. i wait for sunrise.

bad idea guys, terrible terrible idea. that's when i start second guessing, overthinking, getting bad thoughts, wondering who actually honestly cares, questioning friendships, & just becoming more sick of myself.

i get super upset a lot lately and i feel empty, like no one cares. yes, friends have reached out to me but i tend to push it away. not because i don't want to get better but, more because I don't & refuse to burden, bother, or scare anymore friends. i refuse to lose friends & beautiful people in my life. it has happened far to many times for me not to realize what i did and to not stop. it has to stop. now.
because honestly, on my own i'm doing my best. i'm trying to keep a smile, laugh even when it hurts & just live my life with no regrets. i can't stay stuck in this position. there has to be something better & easier than the way my life is right now. i just know it. from what i've heard and witnessed i know there is a happier life to live & a bigger picture than this tiny piece & part of my journey.
sorry for my rant...

stay beautiful,
h

hudson was here . books

Chapter 2 . Pretty Girls Are Better

i wasn't about to go to school and lie some more to her. i wasn't about to live this life. i couldn’t i couldn’t do that again. i had to stop and just try to control myself. but i couldn’t began to think i had no control over my life & emotions. it was all in the hands of Hudson, and nothing could have terrified me more.

i woke up on friday feeling sick, not ill just sick. i didn't want to get dressed, go to class, see her, or even look at myself. i was too disgusted at what i said to her. i actually lied. 

congrats! you did it my love, you have begun the process. this shouldn't take long. 

"what are you talking about? i'm still me. it was stupid and i will never do it again." i couldn't believe it. i was talking to her. i was actually acknowledging that she was in my head getting to me. 

to: mom

i don't feel good. my stomach hurts and i can't get out of bed can i please stay home just this once. i really don't feel well.

you know what you've done now. lied. you are becoming a liar! this is wonderful, keep going. it'll feel great soon. 

"shut up shut up shut up! you don't control me or my actions! just go away!" oh darling don't you know by now? 'know what?'

i'm you. i'm i your head 24/7. i make you do the bad things. i make you feel horrible about yourself. i am your inner demons. you just took a while to find me.

i tried to just lay in bed all day and just forget about her. but then i remember i can't live without her. i just have to learn to ignore her. she needs a name, that way i can easily wrote about her without people reading it thinking i'm crazy. hudson. that's it.

i turned over to read the time on my phone. 10:11am it read. great i have a whole day ahead of me. i slowly inched up the stairs to watch tv and maybe make some tea. i turned to the kitchen and began to cry. i wasn't myself. i wasn't me anymore. i was turning into the girl who lies to the people that are closest to me. i will control myself enough to keep those lies, within me and not out in the world to hurt people. i have to learn to shut hudson out. she can't control my voice or my actions. i know it will get easier. it has to.

but it didn’t i suddenly found myself doing the only and only thing i thought would make me better. but first i went to my magazine drawer and my pinterest board entitled role models. i stared and stared and thought and cried & freaked out & hated myself. i didn’t understand why i couldn’t have their faces or their bodies. i knew for sure i wouldn’t ever have that kind of a smile. i knew it. i knew i wouldn’t ever have their boobs or their beautiful skin. and certainly no man would look at me like their husbands do! why would i ever think that i am pretty. who on earth could ever comment me like that, without it being a lie.

you wanna know how to fix it?

NO! go away!!

yes you do, stupid! now listen up! she began to tell me about how i could change myself. you will be beautiful in two weeks if you stay on track..

WHAT!!!! NOOOOO! i’m not doing that. i’m not going to be one of those girls, besides that is really sad and not beautiful or anything like that. it WONT help me with any of this!

Halley, those women & girls are better than you for their appearance & beautiful smiles. they are going to go way further than you in life & just be more of a role model & tons more inspiring. and you know it!

before i knew it, i was following her instructions one by one. i was killing my body & slowly beginning to hate myself more and more. i suddenly felt disgusted & stopped. realizing what i did and wanting to take it all back. i couldn’t look at myself for the rest of the week.

***

i woke up the next morning feeling defeated. like i let hudson win all day. which i did. i let her, or rather me, push me around & walk all over me. i let her take control of me.

"WHY?!" i screamed into my pillow and began regretting every word i've ever written to all my friends, everything i did yesterday. i regretting lying, listening to Hudson’s advice & instructions, crying, laughing with them, and trying to cover it up with more lies. i realized what i said was really wrong and totally rude of me. how could i become this harsh, mean monster? how could i go on living with this amount of regret & hatred for myself. so i did what i would always hope i could. i drove. i kept on deriving until i couldn’t remember why i started. i drove until i couldn’t cry anymore. i drove as fast and as furious as i could. i stopped at the big intersection on the way home and it all came back, with a big boom.

you can’t keep me away for long ya know…i want so badly for you to run through this intersection right now!!! i want you to crash so hard, that you have to be hospitalized for a month. i want you to die. it’s the only reasonable way out. come on Halley, DO IT!!!

 i started crying (however, there were no real tears, just the ones in my mind) , panicking, realizing that i actually considered it. death. being permanently gone. it was incredibly stupid.

beauitful little fool . blogging

time for a change. after all, some things need to change in my life! welcome to "beautiful little fool"!!!!!! i love this phrase. it is from the great gatsby! i hope you like it too! i also wanted to share with you my tumblr. i don't know if anyone even reads these silly posts, but here is my tumblr & i hope you enjoy it!

stay beautiful,

hailey

emptiness . personal

how can you be so sad? 

how can someone so small, beautiful, & inspiring be filled with such depressed? 

i don't know why friends ask me those questions when i give them the truth. i am sad. why is it such a shock? okay, i understand if you don't know my story. if you don't know what happened three years ago or even last week. it is so difficult to listen to others judge me or just think i'm fake. i'm not. this is real. these are my emotions, thoughts, & actions.

it's easy for me to feel empty. to feel so alone in a room filled with friends & family. it is so simple and second nature for me to feel empty and alone. 

emptiness comes with the territory i guess. when the sun goes down, my demons come out. i pray and pray and pray for hours on end trying to find a way out of this. it never comes. time, it takes time everyone i talk to about it says that. it hurts. you know how much time it took me to get this far? to finally smile FOR REAL a week ago? do you know how long it took to tell someone about this? to tell the truth? time. such a silly thing that we take for granted. i will look back one day on the used to be's and the almost's and remember everything that brought me down and everything that challenged me day in and day out. remember the stinging feeling after i made that one fatal mistake. that one thing that took me ten thousand steps bad and made me who i am. not who i want to be.

i can feel myself distancing from my friends, family & everyone around me. i don't talk as much. i don't open up to lots of people. honestly after i told ashley i hated myself. i felt so much guilt and so much anxiety about it. letting a stranger into my emotions, thoughts, & deepest secrets. letting her lead me and help me through it was hard. and it's been almost 2 months i want to say, and it is still scary telling her things. i trust her. i believe in her. it is just hard to understand and feel like someone actually wants to help and cares about me. because i can only hear that so many times before i stop believing it. before i shut out everyone completely.

i'm trying so hard to stay afloat. to stay positive and stay courageous. it isn't easy. but i can do it. i have to just believe and try to love myself. i know i love & care for others. i see how much i can give to others and how much of myself i use to help, heal, & love others. why can't i use some of that for me? why can't i learn to love, help, & heal myself? why?? because to me, that sounds so selfish. that sounds beyond silly. that sounds like i wouldn't be caring enough for them and loving on them enough. that sounds to me like, i wouldn't be giving 120% to them, like always. and i couldn't do that. i couldn't take that away from them.

so for now, i'm stuck. empty. alone. prayers? please if it isn't too much to ask.

stay beautiful,

hailey

golden hour . photography

today i had the honor of photography these lovely ladies!! during the best hour of the day, the golden hour. right before & during sunset!!! it is such a beautiful thing to see my two friends over the weekend & it was a blast getting to photograph their gorgeous faces. to see more & read more about this photo shoot head over here to my photography blog & enjoy!!

stay beautiful,

hails

late love . personal

there is something so personal about early morning or late night texts. it is a feeling that nothing else can bring. something like magic. a piece of magic & hope all rolled into one. it makes you feel wanted and appriciated. it makes you feel like that person really wants to talk to you or else they would have left by now instead of staying up with you until half past 12. something that speaks louder than the text tone. as crazy as it sounds, that is how i feel every time i have a conversation that goes into the dark of the night. it makes me feel like they really do care about me. they really do enjoy talking with me about anything, and sometimes we don't even have to talk about anything just sit in silence and we both know that neither of us are falling asleep just thinking, remembering, & feeling. 

xoxo

Husdon was there . books

Ch. 1 Thoughts From Her

Don't send it halley, just tell Lucy you have to go. Don't text her. you will regret it forever. 'do it... she will stay longer, she will worry and care more.' hudson's voice popped into my head, sounding clear and just like mine. hudson wasn't her name yet. i didn't eevn know why i had this horrible thought to lie to Lucy. I was doing so well without these thoughts. 'it is already typed and ready for your little finger to send... just send it!' i felt as if i could trust her. like she knew what was best. i hit send with the tip of my thumb.

'now didn't that feel good? oh look she's already read it! tying fast and hard to save you & give you all her wise words.' "Shut up!!!! Lucy please don't reply! Stop, i never sent it. forget that i ever wrote it!!!! please!!!" i started to yell at myself in the middle of the woods. scared to death of what i had just done.

i lied.

to: lucy

lucy, i don't know what to do. my friend came over last night crying. she stayed the night and this morning she took a pregnancy test. it was positive, lucy. she can't have a baby! she told me she want to abort the baby. i can't let her hurt a human being like that. what am i supposed to do?!!

2014 give . personal

my word for 2014 is give. this year i want to give more, whether it's a hug or a gift or my time. i want to give myself fully to the world and share what i have to give! i want to help the needy and help those in my community. show them that there are still good & loving people out there, people that want to help and give them time. i want to listen more and not talk. i want to listen to the beautiful, tragic, loving stories that walk the halls at my high school. i want to give my heart to this world and never regret one moment of it! i know that giving is much better & more rewarding than receiving. i know that He will guide me through this year with hope, happiness, & a heart that won't stop loving until we made it through together. 

after i wrote a long list of things i wanted to change this year, this one stood out the most and was in many of the changes. i want to love more and give more of myself to others. i'm going to make 2014 count by giving more love, hugs, kisses, listening, & time.

i'm going to give more of me because i would rather be the one that smiled than the one that didn't smile back.

happy 2014!

xoxo-hailey

intro | hudson was there . written words

this is my 2014 book! i plan on starting it today & ending it sometime in december! i want to take a long time on this so i can get it just right & perfect for you all.. { if there is in fact anyone reading..} i have all the chapter names & details laid out so it should be easy putting it altogether. this half true & half false. i am changing only a few names because some events were just to a point where i don't think i should share the person's identity. it isn't need for the book or for them. :) i hope you understand that i am not writing a full on REAL STORY, some if in fact false and didn't happen. anyway, i thought i would write a little "back-of-the-cover" book summary for you all!! 

"She was just a girl, 15 years old still trying to figure out Algebra 2 & how the world around her works. She didn't have any special someone like Lucy. She only had her friend, Kelsey. She only had what she knew from what Marly taught her about sex & girl problems. She was just getting used to life without Marly. She was at the peak of her changing social life and didn't want anyone else to leave. So she lied..."

hope to start publishing chapters by tonight!! if not then definitely tomorrow there will be one!

xoxo-Hails

new years . holiday

 

first off, officially Happy New Years!! it is actually 2014, and new year. today was the page 1 to a wonderful 365 page book of our life's! and its only one in a series of many many books. i hope you all celebrated with loved ones or friends & hope you had a lovely day today! :)
reflecting on 2013 is something i want to do & something i'm dreading at the same time... i want to do it so i can put it in the past and just sprint forward to 2014. i am honestly dreading it because it was such a rough year filled with too many tears & too much hurt. don't get me wrong there were some good & happy moments, like always, but it was just a year that certainly changed me. i'm grateful for the love and support that got me through because i probably wouldn't be here with certain people... Victoria, Arielle, Natalie, Kelsey, Becca, Erica, Lesley, Alyson, Megan, Jane, Kyley, Ashley, Pilar, Sam, Grace, Kendall, Sarah, & Him. of course my support group is such an incredible help in letting me open up again & become honest with myself and everyone around me. i can't believe how far i have come from the beginning to end of 2013. its a beautiful, scary & loving transformation. if someone told me that i would meet all these people, go through all of that & reunite with many old friends...i would have cried for hours. haha but, here i am loving life & enjoying the new year and what it brings to me! i know as long as i follow His path and lessons for me then i know i will be okay.
this year i plan to write more love letters, give more hugs & kisses, love more, have more adventures, do more crafts, laugh more, cuddle more, enjoy things more, take more photos. i also plan to keep my blogging promises & life promises. i promise to be more kind, loving, supportive, humble, accepting, nonjudgemental, happy, excited, joyful, & healthy. i promise that my 2014 book will finish and it will be good!! i promise to post more & take a photograph everyday that shows emotion of some sort, even if it is the worst day ever. i have somethings i plan on changing, which are i guess my resolutions...? .eating healthier .working out more .writing a letter to myself everyday .giving out more hugs .stand up for myself .giving more love letters then i have some more personal ones, which i wouldn't like to share... thank you for understanding!!
hope you have a wonderful start to the new year & i hope i didn't loose all my followers... i am grateful for the views but i would love some lovin in the comments or hate anything really. if your listening.. hello? anybody still reading my little blog...?