Blessed...

 I feel blessed....

• to be here today
• to have friends
• to have family
• to breathe everyday
• to follow in God's path
• to be healthy
• to live in a house
• to wear clothes, everyday
• to eat three meals a day
• to have my father near
• to have my mother close
• to have a sister home
• to have you

These are just a few little things I thought of that we all take for grated everyday and sometimes we just need to stop and say thank you for everything that we have in our life's. When you are told that one of your family members has a disease that is life changing, it makes you stop and think how precious life is. When you are told that someone in your family has past away, you think even more about how life can just be taken away in a split second. It hurts and sometimes it is hard to find a way back to your normal but, what is even harder is finding the new normal. Your life has changed in a bunch of ways it is hard to admit that things changed and that life is not the same. You automatically have more responsibility and care towards them and your family. It is important to not take control of the responsibility that you were given.

We are not lucky that we have these things, we are blessed.......

Source: yes-butno.tumblr.com via Emily on Pinterest

Secret Sunday {#6}

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you've had a lovely weekend! To anyone who anonymously posts a secret here, if you ever need someone to vent to, get advice from, etc, do not hesitate to contact me personally through e-mail.  I have been through some tough stuff and know how alone it can make a person feel at times.  I promise I will never judge, and it will be kept soley between the two of us. There are so many of these I have read which make me wish I could give the person a huge hug and let them know everything will be okay.

If you're new here, this is a chance to anonymously share secrets you've been keeping to yourself and just need to get off of your chest. They can be anything from "I cheated on my math test" to "I cheated on my husband" This is for you as well as for myself (I may post a few of my own) We all have secrets that we have to live with, but the best medicine is not keep them bottled up inside. My hope is that this can act as an escape of sorts for a lot of you.

Source: Uploaded by user via Stephanie on Pinterest

1. This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from a regular follower to casual visitor.

2. Post a secret anonymously, no names please (Choose the anonymous option under comment).

3. I do this for you guys - so you can get some weight off of your shoulders. If you are not comfortable with sharing, that is entirely well and fine.

4. I am going to participate as well. One of the comments will be mine.

**Remember: Nothing is off limits and we are not here to judge. 

On that note....

Source: thebeautydepartment.com via Hailey on Pinterest

I just want to take a quick minute to say thank you all so much. Your kind words were very helpful in getting me through the last two days. It was a struggle just to wake up but, knowing that I had a great support system, made it all worth it! :) <3

Film Friday { Today was a fairytale }

Today, so far, is kind of far from a fairytale. But, I have things I need to say to some people, fix brooken hearts, & take {lifestyle} photos to my hearts content....

{this one is made by these two adorable little kiddos! Mel & I found it one day :) <3

this one is the T.S. version {love her, worship her, she is my role model!}

Lyrics  Today was a fairytale by Taylor Swift

Today was a fairytale, you were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand, and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale, today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale, I wore a dress
You wore a dark gray t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there

It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make, everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is now it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/taylor-swift-lyrics/today-was-a-fairytale-lyrics.html ]
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there

It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart, it's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there

It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale

Hope you enjoyed this weeks pick for Film Friday <3

Praying & hoping with faith . written word

Source: meggielynne.tumblr.com via Meg on Pinterest

Mom away..
Kylie at practice..
Dad at work..
Curled up in the cozy chair

& Prayed.

Alone for the sake of the silence.

For the sake of the peace.

For the sake of the prayers that are so much easier to hear in this silent house. 

I spent much of last night curled up on my roof with a prayer journal. Alone time is something I never have. The last seventeen hours have done my heart incredibly well. Silent thoughts are somehow so much more powerful than those that come out as words.

I reflected. 

My faith is constantly tested. Someone looked at me yesterday with hurtful intention and spoke words that broke my sensitive heart.

"Why are you a christian? When you pray to god, bad stuff still happens. It's all a lie. I'd rather believe in the truth of nothing at all than in the lie of a big man in the sky who watches us fall and doesn't pick us up again." 

Seriously so broken by this comment.

I had nothing to say. My words were in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to cry. 

I went home and started sifting through emails yesterday. An anonymous email was waiting for me.

"God's not real. You're wasting your time. You're way to pretty to be dumb enough to believe in the stuff they tell you in bible school. Stop with the long skirts and the Jesus obsessed blog." 

This is a clean version of the email. I have NEVER gotten an email like this. I am so incredibly blessed with an incredible support system. This shocked me. 

That was the third time in a single day that I encountered a person my age who did not have a stronghold with the lord. Three times in twelve hours and I began to feel like being one with the lord made me the odd one out. It's not necessarily the coolest thing in the world to write about the Lord on my blog and go to church on Sunday. Especially not at fifteen, but it is who I am.

 & my god what I would give for other teenagers to realize that they are only as good as who they choose to be, not as who they choose to make fun of. 

I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded with a solid group of girls who don't necessarily walk a path with Jesus- but who respect my own. I am blessed to belong to a church community who helps steady my faith. I am blessed to have no fear in speaking my religious beliefs. I am blessed also- to respect all other religious practices. I am blessed to run this little corner of the internet that allows me to talk about Jesus in a really cool way. I am blessed to have many options for my future. I am blessed with never-ending fullness, forgiveness, and willingness. I am blessed with a guardian angel in heaven who I used to call omi. I am blessed with a beautiful family, home, and life. I am blessed to encounter one email like this in faith blogging. 

But what about those teenagers who don't have everything I have? 

What about those who are made fun of on a regular basis? 

What about those who are terrified to believe in god- because no one around them does? 

What about name calling? 

What about disrespect to the faithful? 

What about those discriminated against for believing in Jesus? 

What about those who want to know Jesus but can't find him? 

My heart hurts for those people. 

I find myself with this constant question- 

"Where does all the hate and disrespect come from?" 

& I find myself in an understanding. An understanding of how a teenager who doesn't know god could be skeptical of him. Look at what we as teenagers face everyday. The pressure, the crowds, the age differences, the exposure, the media, the pop culture, the stresses, the struggle. These feelings don't feel like their is some "big man in the sky" watching over us. At least not to many teenagers. 

At fifteen there are a million things to see and do. 

There is no thought of death because we feel as though we will live forever. 

We cannot see the end, because we have not even seen the beginning.  

There is no need for the lord. The world is good. Our hearts are naive. The talk is cheap.

& Sunday's are for sleeping in. 

Not to me though. 

Maybe to some. 

But not to me. 

I rely on the strength of the lord. 

As for your own path....I wish you the best of luck. As for your own religious preferences, I pray that they help you find what you are looking for. As for your own story- I pray that you write it loud and proud. As for your own memories, I hope that they are incredible. 

I hope this life gives you everything you've ever dreamed of. 

& I pray that maybe- you could do the same for me. 

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven" 
Luke 6:37

Why do people do such bad things?

So. This is an honesty post.  Bare with me, please.

 I know I have done lots of little bad things in my time but, never have I encouraged something so bad it is a common cause of death...

Now, here comes the toughest part of the post. I came across a certain entry today which happened to be a Pro-Ana blog. If you are not familiar with this, it is encouraging Anorexia. And this was a man.  I was appalled.  If you are reading this right now, I am sorry, but I refuse to give you a presence on my blog. (Even if it is just through a small pin on my map). Now if it was your recovery process you were documenting, that would be all well and good, inspirational to some even. But when you are encouraging the habits that are destroying the lives of  as many as 10 million females and 1 million males, that is simply not acceptable.

If you would like to leave a nasty anonymous comment, go ahead.  If you would like to e-mail me personally, go ahead. Either way, I will not promote such behavior.  I know you are suffering, but please stop publicizing this.

My little Balerina

For those of you who follow regularly, you know I have a ten year old baby God-sister.
She's growing and changing everyday.
As for our relationship though, she'll forever be baby girl.

That statement right there makes me look like the golden big God-sister.
I'm not.

I'm not good, great, nor even fine.
Actually most days, I'm too busy to even notice/think of her.

Only in the last few days have I started to notice how heavy this makes my heart.
Between work and play, I have absolutely no time to be grateful for someone who I hope to have as a best friend for life.

She's so incredible.
Beautiful.
Powerful.
Brilliant.
Grateful.
Filling.

She's everything I am, everything I'm not, and everything I was never bold enough to be. & she's part of me. We're knit together, somehow. Which is a really incredibly powerful thing.

The time I do spend with her, like really really spend with her...
Is as bright as the sun.

That said- those times are probably counted on one hand. Which brings me to tears.

Last Tuesday I was watching TV.
The clock read about nine.
No one else was awake.

Thinking about her. That angel baby.

A moment long enough ago to have forgotten but sentimental enough to remember. A moment lost in time. Lost in nights where it was more fun to go out. Lost in moments that fell victim of being too cool for that baby girl. Lost in hours of homework. Lost in thought. Lost in the endless efforts to find myself.

& for the first time in my life....
I was lost in tears that recognized my admiration for her.

So there I was. Sobbing while watching to "Pretty little liars".
Probably one of my lowest lows.
Just silently begging god....
To show me the strength to do more, love more, empower more.
All in her name.

Because she is seriously the best.
& I just don't know how to show her that.

So when I finished the show I walked into the room where she was playing and I climbed up on the bed right next to her.

"whatchya doing?" 

Silence....

& then that sweet voice......
"Just playing on the iPad, wanna see?" 


She was so excited that I asked.
Seriously, she looked so happy.

So I watched this funny little game on her iPad for about three minutes.
& then I praised her for it. Because she was excited about it.
Which made me excited about it.

& as I was about to walk away....
She closed her iPad.
Then went back to look at photos it took her to the last viewed photo, it was a picture of her and I at Tahoe

She didn't even realize that I saw.
I awkwardly slinked away into my kitchen.
& with that background image in my mind, I cried.

That night was such a dynamics changer for me.
I realize how much I need her.
I realize how much she also needs me.
I so desire to change how we interact.

So I pray over her.
& I pray that I will be able to love her well.
As well as I love her in my heart of hearts.
Even today counts though. Even those three minutes made an impact.

Baby steps.

Love

Source: piccsy.com via Gema on Pinterest

So....who likes the last blog title crazie change I will ever make? :)
I love it! I thought of the name and really fast whipped up my blog header & and new page. then, BAM! new blog <3
comments below!! :)
I will do a normal post on some crafts a I did yesterday.
{do see the love theme, in this post???? ;) }

 

Hailey bopper ♥

Timing . random thoughts

I have gotten emails & instant messages about "when...?"
Timing is very important in a lot of situations. You have to know how long you should wait, how long you should think about something, & how long you should stay in a relationship.
"..You are great at knowing when to do things & how long to wait for people and things to happen. How long should I wait for...?"
-Private {Email conversation}
Well, I don't think I am great or have perfected the timing of EVERYTHING but, I am good at it. I just try and think about what kind of situation it is and then evaluate it by that. If it is something that I would never waste my time on, like a little fight over gum, I call them right away and say: "I am sorry, I was stupid, this was a stupid fight over nothing! We should not be wasting precious time on this..." Yes, for some people it maybe easier just to let it slide and wake up the next morning and forget about it but, for me I am a conversation kind of girl. I like to get my feelings out & fix all the things I broke. I believe that it is good to get things off your chest. After a while you will have all of these feelings tied up into a big knot in your mind & stomach. It will make you just burst one day & start yelling or complaining about things from one to two years/months ago. People may understand but, they will wonder why you are talking about things so far in the past.

Let go of the past but, solve your issues now. So that in that time of something better you never have to say "remember that fight we never talked about....."
{so I guess this turned into two posts in one, kinda, I hope I explained and help some peeps :) This sure helped me vent}

Secret Sunday { #5 }

 { Sorry it is late, I had a friend remind me! I have not been home all weekend that is why my photo a day thing is off, I will start that again when school starts & I have a regular schedule, my loves. :) }

Happy Sunday everyone, I hope you've had a lovely weekend! To anyone who anonymously posts a secret here, if you ever need someone to vent to, get advice from, etc, do not hesitate to contact me personally through e-mail.  I have been through some tough stuff and know how alone it can make a person feel at times.  I promise I will never judge, and it will be kept soley between the two of us. There are so many of these I have read which make me wish I could give the person a huge hug and let them know everything will be okay.

If you're new here, this is a chance to anonymously share secrets you've been keeping to yourself and just need to get off of your chest. They can be anything from "I cheated on my math test" to "I cheated on my husband" This is for you as well as for myself (I may post a few of my own) We all have secrets that we have to live with, but the best medicine is not keep them bottled up inside. My hope is that this can act as an escape of sorts for a lot of you.

1. This is open to anyone who wants to participate, from a regular follower to casual visitor.

2. Post a secret anonymously, no names please (Choose the anonymous option under comment).

3. I do this for you guys - so you can get some weight off of your shoulders. If you are not comfortable with sharing, that is entirely well and fine.

4. I am going to participate as well. One of the comments will be mine.

**Remember: Nothing is off limits and we are not here to judge. 

Color girl

I had a blast with outfit one on angie! We tried the sparkle & cut out heart blowing & that, sadly, didn't work out. I am so happy at the outcome of these fun colorful shots! :) We then took a break & I went on a search for more inspiration....
I always love to photograph this little beauty! I have seen her grow up into a gorgeous 10 yr old & can not wait to see what a beautiful & smart young women she will be. I know she was brought up on great morals & grew up with a nice big family, filled with lots of love, care, & faith!! I love you Angie, always will.
{To view the rest of the photographs please go to my photography blog. It will show you, in the two latest posts, the other two settings & mini sessions. They are not up right now, as of 9:44 pm. I will post them right after this one! :D}

Life Lately . in pictures

 1. my new necklace {shine- my omi was my sunshine! 4/18/11 the date she past}

 2. a sweet convo with a sweet boy...

 3. roses @ my grammie's house

 4. puppy choloe :)

 5. my dad made this for my grammie with five birth stones for each of her kids

 6. sewing with gramms. my skirt!

 7. birthday party my little baby cousin is 5 :)

 8. bday boy <3

 9. babysitting time, my beautiful veiw

 10. cuddle time

 11. glitter explosion at safeway {angie freaked}

 12. tea time

13. chat with kylie! she got to see us  angie!!

Film Friday . Once was love

 Once Was Love by Ingrid Michaelson

Don't delay, something tells me I gotta go away
Maybe it's the way we always stay when our hearts have gone
We can't hold us anymore, no we've got to fold
Down to the floor, yes I know it's cold but baby our hearts have gone

Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing

Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
Just because there once was love

I gotta see if I'm filled up when it's only me
It's not your fault but you just can't be here
Now that my heart has gone, now that my heart has gone
Now that my heart has gone

Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing

Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
Just because there once was love

Everyone is hurting now and everything is burning down
But I can build back my new town today

Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing

Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
Just because there once was love

There once was love, there once was love
There once was love, there once was love
There once was love, there once was love
There once was love, there once was love


love this song....Once was love :) I will do a photo dump today!

Day 2 . photo a day

Angie's mini school session. I thought hard and long about her wardrobe & props; so we went classic with purls & modern, long purls. Then I got out one of my backpacks; I had her wear the new hammy-downs, from me, skirt with a polo, white, tee! She looked gorgeous! We had a great day with her session & the school theme! {she starts 5th grade TODAY} So happy I took the yesterday, I will be emailing some to my Godmother!

sneak peek . in pictures

just a sneak peek & definately more to come.... {with my new logo}

Wordless Wensday . family

Day 1 .photo a day

When I go to the mail box every after noon, even if I am not expecting anything, I still get a little excited that I might get a beautiful hand written note. On this day, I did! I was so excited I could not believe it! Thanks Benjamin...

{I am sorry I have to start over and do my photo a day thing. I wont give up on the project!!!}

Mom!!! .in pictures

Well dont I feel like a mother after last night!

 1. blooming bubble bath

 2.PJ's from the little one.

 3. drawing the bath

 4.ahhh nice and warm for my little peanut

 5. she is cited!

 6. my "motherly" duties

 7. entertain before movie&bed

 8. BAM done! {had a fun time doing them! I love doing the dishes..}

9. ice cream & tea to end the day with..