Ch.2 "STOP, it hurts"
I couldn't believe I laid awake all night with my fingers crossed thinking of the millions of ways he could see me like I saw him. I wanted it to be funny & not so awkward. I knew he was off limits big time but, couldn't I just have a little fun? I kept reminding myself that I was in love with Ben not Nate. Ben was the one, just Ben.
I got up, well got out of bed that is, around 6 am. I realized sitting there was useless & I should get up eat something & see if Nate or Ben was up yet. I walked into the kitchen, the room was filled with the smell of Blakley's "famous chocolate chip pancakes". I had that great feeling of knowing that Blakley was visiting from college!
"Hello? Blakley?" I called into the kitchen.
"Hey, Hails! When did you get up? Opps! Did I wake you up?! Sorry." She came out from the pantry, stirring more mix for the deluxe breakfast.
"No, no worries. I was up all night." We hugged and she practically spread batter all over my T-shirt.
"Opps! Why were you up all night? You okay..." She said. She got a dish towel & tried to clean off the shirt. It just made it worse.
"That is okay, you don't have to clean it," I took off the shirt. "Just a lot to think about. Don't worry. Nate is fine." I said quietly to myself.
"Ohh. So what were you thinking about for 10 hours?" She questioned and continued to stirr.
"Um... "I tried so hard to think of something that would sound normal, "Just school stuff." School?! We had been out of school for almost 2 weeks now, she probably thought I was stupid.
"School? Haven't you been out for a while now?" Blakley asked.
"Yeah, I am just really anxious to get back. You know me, hard worker." I said trying to play it off.
"Makes sense. Just enjoy your summer, don't worry. When you go back it will be easy." She smiled and poured the mix into the pan.
"Hey, What are you-"
"Oh hey, Nate! What are you doing up?" I cut Nate off, realizing that I was standing in a sports bra & short shorts.
"A little jumpy this morning aren't we?" He laughed and winked.
"No, you just scared me."
"Yeah right... Anyway, what are you making? Missed you!" Nate ran to Blakley at the sight of her in the kitchen.
"Hey! Missed you too! Your favorite pancakes; with extra cinnamon." She winked & went bake to flipping the breakfast.
"So, I am going to go and get my stuff from Kaylee's and then I will be back for breakfast. Sound good?" Trying to leave before Nate could get a good look at my outfit.
"Okay, we will be here!" Blakley said.
"I will walk you out." Nate turned toward me & we headed toward to entry way. "Listen, you look amazing and if it helps. I wasn't completely checking you out. I promise." He smiled & blushed a little.
"Thanks but, you can look all you want." I laughed."But, it is all Ben's" I laughed and Nate quickly lots his cute smile. " I was kidding. Sorry, I got to go." I quickly left before he could try & ask me some serious question about our 'friendship'
When I finally got to Kaylee's house, I realized that it was Wednesday. No body was home & I would have to attempt Kay's climbing-up-the-side-of-the-house obstical course. Great! Couldn't they just go to church on Sunday mornings like normal people. I realized that it wouldn't be easy and if I wanted to get back to Ben's for breakfast I would have to start climbing soon. Once I got over the side fence I was in the backyard ready to climb high onto Kaylee's balcony.
As I was getting set to climb the wall, I noticed & piece of bright neon green paper sticking out of the back door. I ran over to the door & pulled the note out from the space between the tinted, gold, french doors. I read: "KEY UNDER THE ROSE PLANTER. YOUR STUFF IS ON THE ISLAND IN THE KITCHEN. SORRY WE MISSED YOU. CALL ME AROUND THREE. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING."I was surprised that they would just leave a key to their beautiful house under an obviously loose planter box and lay out my stuff on their newly re-done kitchen island. I ran back to the front of the house, after much thought towards the note. I got the key out from under the roses & opened the front door. It opened into their big beautiful foyer, it smelled of freshly cut flowers. I walked trough the foyer into the formal living room, then took a right turn into the main kitchen. I glanced down the hallway that lead to the three guest bedrooms & master. I jumped as I saw the cat run across the hall into the bathroom. I caught my breath and ignored it. I walked into the kitchen & turned toward the family room. I suddenly heard a loud crash, I ducked. For some reason that was always my first instinct, to duck. Nothing was flying at me, I just heard a loud crash & sank down into the kitchen floor, curled up into a little ball. 'What the heck is my problem' I thought to myself. It was just a noise, nothing came at me. 'It was probably the cat falling or making something fall. Just get your stuff & leave. Gosh! You can be such an paranoid person. No you are just paranoid, freak. You seriously need some medication for that.' It was like I was having a conversation with myself in my head. I hope a lot of people do that. . . Don't we all?
"Hey are you coming? Hails, you okay?" Ben yelled from two houses down the street
I quickly realized that I had been standing outside the house, just staring up at it for a least 5 minutes. I was such a freak. "Yeah, sorry just let me put the key back." I looked down at my hand, I opened it slowly realizing that it was bleeding and hurt really bad to move it. I quickly shoved my hand in my pocket, picked up my stuff and walked over to Ben. "How long were you standing there?" I asked.
"Not that long but long enough." He looked at me strangely, "What happened to your hand? Hailey, you pants!"
"Oh! Gosh, sorry!" I yelled.
"Oh please tell me that is your hand and not ya know." He winked and looked down.
"Oh god, no! Ben, ewwww! Just my hand." I said quickly before he began to really think about it. Me and him just standing in the street and then BAM! I get my period. "Ya, I would rather you not just assume that..." we both laughed.
"Sorry, just it is in the relative area-"
I cutt him off "BEN! STOP!"
"Okay gosh, just trying to explain how easily one would guess that. Sorry." He looked up at me and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. He traced the outline of my cheek with his thumb. I closed my eyes, it felt so peaceful.
"You guys coming? What on earth are you doing?!" Suddenly we heard Blakley scream from Ben's house. I wondered how long she had been there, watching.
"We are coming. Goodness!" I yelled back. I wished she didn't interrupt our moment. Sorry Ben we can never catch a break. I said to myself, no way was I ever going to tell Ben that I really really enjoyed our moments like that.
"Let me take you bag and you can carry your pillow. Okay?" Ben asked politely.
"Um....Sure! Thanks, it was kind of heavy. " He surprised me, today he was acting differently, a good different.
"Listen after breakfast I want to show you something. Trust me." He said nervously.
"Okay? Of course I trust you."
"I only said that because of last time I tried to show you something. . . Remember?" Trying to explain, Ben said.
"I know, let's not go there-"
He cut me off, "I just still feel bad, I mean-"
"Just forget it. Please." I cut him off and tried to shake off the memory.
"Okay, sorry I brought it up. " We started walking toward his house in akaward silence.
"So the sun rise was beautiful this morning, uh?" I said trying to break the silence between us.
"Yeah, it really was. But not as wildly beautiful as you are."
"Thanks." I began to blush and smiled a tiny little smile.
Once we finally made it to Ben's house after what seemed like hours of walking, which was only really 5 minutes, we walked into the kitchen and sat down at the bar ready to eat. Then I realized that we had completely forgotten about my pants and my bloody hand.
"Hailey? Um...what is with your hand?" Nate asked.
"Oh! Ben, we forgot about it. Sorry!" I looked over at Ben, "Hey can you help me clean up?"
"Sure thing just meet me in my bathroom downstairs. I will grab some supplies and a lollipop." He laughed and we all stared at him like he was a freak, "I am kidding you guys! Gosh, Hail isn't two!!"
"You are right I am not two." I smiled and walked toward Ben, standing near the stairs. "But, I would like two lollipops please." I whispered to him and winked as I walked down the stairs.
Once I got down stairs I went into his room, that lead into his bathroom. I walked into his bathroom, it was newly redone. New bath tub & shower, the whole thing was practically shining. You could tell he doesn't really spend a lot of time down in his room. Besides that fact that it was the only room down stairs besides the basement/playroom, he only really hung out up stairs where all the food and people were.
"Hey, I like the new tub!" I said as Ben walked into the room.
"Yeah? I just quickly chose most of this stuff. It really was all my mom." He said as if picking out heated floors for his bathroom was nothing.
"Yeah, I love it!!"
"You could try it out. If you wanted?" He said.
"Naw, but thanks."
"No really you can try it after breakfast. If we ever eat." We both laughed.
"No it is okay. Really." I insisted that I really didn't need a bath.
"You can. It is fine." It was like he couldn't wait for me to take off my clothes and get in a warm heated bath. Possibly filled with bubbles.
"Okay, fine! It sounds really nice." I gave in before he pushed me in the tub and taped me down.
"Great! Hey can you take off your pants for me?" He asked. I turned away from the tub and looked at him surprised.
"Ben! Can I be alone when I take a bath!" I exclaimed.
"No! I meant the blood stains. Besides i thought you were taking a bath after breakfast. A little anxious, aren't we?" He said.
"Oh right. Sorry." I slipped off my shorts; I was now sitting in my sports bra and underwear. (they matched! Yes!) I couldn't believe that I thought that. I really needed something to eat before I said or did anything else that was too crazy. "So where is your family? I thought Carrie said they would be back last night?" I quickly tried to change the subject.
"Oh yea, they called. They are making a week out of it. One of Dad's co-workers was going to Vegas for the week but his wife got sick. So he offered the hotel and some show tickets to him. So they are driving up their today."
"Sounds fun! So just you, Nate, and Blakley for the week. Fun?" I said. I was trying to remember the last time it was like that. I couldn't think of anytime when it was only the three oldest kids in the house.
"Yea, whoopee." Ben said sarcastically as he applied the cold cloth to my hand. It began to hurt and stink a lot.
"Ouch! Hey! Maybe you could come with me to Kay's party?" I really wanted to ask Ben about this earlier but, never had a chance to. "Owww! It is supposed to be amazing and a lot of fun."
"Sorry! Just breathe, you okay?" He completely ignored the question.
"You I am fine. Just hurts A LOT! OW!" I screamed.
"Shh. It is okay. Breathe, Hailey breathe." Ben trying to calm me made me feel safe.
"Ow, Ben! It hurts!" He reached his other hand over and began to rub my leg.
"Shhh. I am here." His touch made the pain feel almost good. It was like he made my world of pain become a world of beauty. I closed my eyes as he continued to caress my leg. Then he lifted the cloth and traced the outline of my cheek with his cool hand. Brushing my hair behind my shoulders, Ben relaxed every single muscle in my body. I felt calm and safe. I opened my eyes and he was close to me. "Okay, almost done. I promise, just one more thing." He grabbed some antibiotic and dabbed some on another cloth and applied it to my palm.
"Ben! Ow!!!"I closed my eyes and I scream as loud as I could. I quickly grabbed me and pulled me into his chest. He was warm.
"Shhh." He was calming and I felt like nothing could go wrong. I opened my eyes and realized that we were slowly slipping onto the ground.
"Ben!"
"What?! What is it? Did I hurt you again?" He asked concerned
"No, I don't want to get blood all over your new floors!!"
"It is fine, I will clean it up tonight." He replied.
"Oh, okay. You sure?" We slipped completely off the miniature stools, still hugging.
"Positive. Okay I need to take it off and then put on a wrap." He pulled away from the hug and I adjusted myself. He grabbed the white wrap and began to unravel it.
"Hey, you are good at this. Even the calming down part." We giggled and he blushed a little.
"Shh, don't tell my mom. She would flip out!"
"Why? I thought she knew you wanted to be a doctor?" I was surprised that Ben kept anything form Carrie, his mom, they were really close every since he was born.
"No, she thinks I want to be a therapist."
"Um. . .Why is that?" I questioned him.
"I don't want to get into it right now. Please." He looked over at me, "Seriously."
"Okay. Sorry." I put my hand on his arm. "I understand. Ben, I am always here to talk."
"Thanks, not now." Ben was putting up a front. I could feel it. "Okay all done! Let's go eat!" We both got and up began to walk out of his room until I realized, I wasn't wearing anything.
"Um. . . I know you guys aren't formal family but, I think i may need some kind of clothing for breakfast." I pointed up and down my body. Ben mentioned over to the T-shirt laid out on his king size bed. "Oh thanks! I am going to wash my leg, I will be up in a minute."
"Okay, hurry I am sure they are starving." Ben laughed and walked up the stairs
I walked back over to the bathroom, T-shirt in hand. Picked up a towel and soaked it in the cool water form the sink. As I lightly dabbed the towel on my upper thigh I tried to recall how i could have gotten the blood on my palm. Thinking back all I can remember is one moment standing in the kitchen freaking out about a little noise coming from the hallway and then suddenly I open my eyes, like it was a dream and I realized that I was standing outside Kaylee's house with a bloody hand that burned. It all didn't piece together, I was missing something big and something strange. I finished cleaning off my upper thigh and slipped on his T-shirt. It was warm and cozy. The fit was perfect; not too long, not too short but it was also not too tight and not too loose. I loved wearing his shirts.
"Coming?" Blakley yelled down the stairs. "You okay?"
"Yeah, coming!" I yelled back up. I rinsed off the three cloths in the sink and set my shorts in the sink that I filled with hot water and soap. I walked up the stairs to see the three of them sitting around the island waiting for me. "Thanks but you guys can eat. No need to wait." As soon as I was done speaking they all diged in. Literally. I couldn't get to the kitchen fast enough, I guess.
"Sorry I hope you don't mind. I put yours in the oven so it stayed warm." Nate said with half his pancake in his mouth
"Thanks. I will go get it."
*******
After I got home I called Kaylee, I thought the least I could do was try to explain myself. I left her in the middle of her crisis. I felt really bad. I must have said 'sorry' like 31 times. She kept telling me that is was just one of those bad timing thing. I told her that I probably should have stayed with her and I was going to make it up to her. We planned on getting together on Friday. I couldn't wait besides we both needed a good Friday-girls-night. I just hope nothing ruins our plans like last time. That didn't end well. For anyone.
After I took a long and much needed shower to rinse off the long day's work, which by the way wasn't even over yet! I walked down the short hallway into my bedroom, still filled with boxes from the move, tossed my towel aside and closed the door. I laid on my bed waiting for me to get enough energy to get dressed. It was a cool day so I had my windows open with my blinds shut, no need for some creeper to look through my window to see me, ya know. . . naked. As I lay there in silence and felt the cool summer breeze come through my windows, 'ring. . ring. . ring. . ring. .' "Ug! Who are you? What do you want!" I mumbled as I walked over to my desk where my phone was. It was my main girl, Melissa. I hadn't heard from her in over two weeks, so glad she called. I decided it would be rude to ignore it just to have a few more moment of quiet to myself.
"Hey, Hailey?" A sweet little voice came through the voice.
"Yea. What's up?"
"I have missed you! How are you?" She said very excited.
"Great, missed you too. How are you?" I wasn't in the mood to get into details and small talk about the latest details on anything.
"Fabulous! We need to get together soon. How about a sleepover at your new place?" She couldn't wait to ask, I could tell by the way she asked.
"That would be great. Maybe tomorrow? I am busy on Friday night but tomorrow would work." I didn't want to explain anything, after all I did have quite the full day already.
"Ok. I will ask! Wait here" She laughed, as she walked away. I could heard the pitter patter of her feet as she walked through the house to find her mom and dad. That was the one thing that I never understood about the Torres', why were they super strict about sleepovers and things like that. I wouldn't be surprised if when she goes to college they put a tracking device inside of her. I never really questioned it, although I had lots of question on the subject.
"Yes! I will see you then. May I ask why not tonight?" She was always so polite.
"I had a long day and it is only 12:01PM. I just need today and tonight to breathe and think about some stuff. Sorry, I have to go." I tried to cut the conversation short so I could go back to laying on my bed. Also, after a while of talking or texting someone naked I feel like they can see me. It creeps me out!
"Okay, that is fine! Love you! See you then." she replied.
"Love you, sis!" I said as I hung up.
I walked back over to my bed and glanced over at the mirror. I walked backward two steps so I could see myself in full. I looked in the mirror and for the first time ever. I didn't like what I saw. In fact, I hated it. I didn't get why I looked like this, a teen almost in high school and I was becoming one of those girls. The girls that hate their bodies and start having eating diorders. I didn't want to be one of them. I wanted to be myself, the real me. But, when I looked in that mirror I didn't like it. Not one bit.
"Hailey! You coming with us?" My mom yelled down the hall from the living room.
"Yes! Give me five minutes to get dressed and brush my hair." I reply as I remember our plans to go shopping. I quickly grab my light blue tank, white bra, underwear, and some jean shorts. I get dressed as fast as I can and hang my towel over my door as I race out to the bathroom. I finish up everything and get my flip flops and walk out to the car.
"Time!" I say as I buckle my seat belt.
My mom looks over at me with a strange facial expression, "What?"
"Time, I was super fast. Just for you!"
"Oh, your funny." She says as we pul out of the drive way giggling.
Once we got home from shopping and a light lunch, I go back into my room to try on my new outfits. I always do this after shopping trips. I grab the first tank and skirt from Urban Outfitters and Forever 21, slip them both on and look in the mirror. "You are so welcome! Come back anytime, the childern had a great time!" I was pretending to be a teacher saying good-bye to a volunteer. Then I slipped on the next outfit, "Oh yes, lets dance!" My new fancy dress was shiny and bright. I loved it. I began to dance to the pretend music that was going through my mind. I suddenly realized it may seem odd me dancing with any music so I walked over to my desk and turned on my music from my phone. Merry Happy by Kate Nash , it read. I began to do a little dance like I was in a recital.
"Hailey, someone is here for you! Please come to the door before the dog goes crazy.
I quickly slip on Ben's T-shirt and some shorts, you can't even see them but just in case, and rush out to the door, "Got it!" I yell to my mom.
"Hi, I got the text." Ben says while he widens his eyes and speaks slowly.
"What are you talking about? I didn't send you "911"?"
"Uh, yes you did. See." Ben shows me his phone with a text that reads: "HURRY, 911!!"
"Oh, well come in." Confused I let Ben in and follow him closely behind to my room.
"So. . . " He sits on my chair anxiously awaiting my explanation, "What happened?"
"Nothing, well. . . I mean nothing." I realize that I could have sent it during my mirror experience. Shoot!!
"You sure? I can listen, I wont judge or tell anyone." He looked at me and then rubbed my arm.
"No!" I said, "Sorry, I mean no thanks." I didn't mean to hurt him or his feelings but, he knew something was up and there was something that I wasn't telling him.
"Okay, if you say so.But, the text didn't sound like it was nothing." Ben looked back out the window, "Were you- Never mind"
"No, wait what? Tell me." I urged him to spill what he was thinking I was doing."Gardening? Creeping out Christine? What do you think I was doing?"
"Okay, Okay. Sheesh! I was going to say gardening and then you cut yourself on a planter and you needed me because nobody else was home but, your mom is home so... never mind. Hey, I never got to show you." He glanced back me, eyes wide and with a big adorable smile.
"Okay, when do you want to show me? I am busy tonight and tomorrow night, sleepovers with Melissa & Kaylee. Sorry. Maybe now?" His facial expression changed, like night to day slow but beautiful to watch, Ben looked empty, surprised.
"Um..."He had a long pause, very long."Yeah, I guess. But, I have to..... um.... go fix it...ya, that is it I have to fix it first. Then I will call you when I am ready." He sutddered a whole lot while talking and then turned to leave my room.
He opened the door, "Yeah, sure. . . You okay?" I asked as he practically tripped running out.
"Yep, I am great! Bye." He opened and closed the front door as fast as I had ever seen.
******
"Stop! please!" I scream as Ben tried to cover up the mess he made all over me.
"Okay, fine. But, you are the one who will have to seal with all the questions and stares.." Ben points out the obvious and wakes over to rinse of his hands and the cloth.
"That is fine but you will have to answer to the rumors that start. Just saying!" We both fake a laugh knowing that it really is all his fault for my pain and scars.
"Stop!! You said no more for today!! BEN!" He slowly closed in on me and began again...
WHOA ! What happened ? A lot of stuff happened in this chapter :O sooo good though (:
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