sophomore year . school life

so i barely slid by sophomore year making it out with friends & loving teachers still in my corner! crazy life and year but, i know i did my hardest & try everything i could to do good & achieve greatness. but we all know that this school year didn't go off without a hitch.. let's be real!!! i wanted to write this to inform you all about the "behind-the-scenes" stuff & for me to reflect on the year good's & bad's. 

{part I. overall emotions} SOPHOMORE year... if i had to sum it up in one word it would be change. it feels as if all that happened over the year changed something about me. my love, my hope, my faith, my curiosity, my heart, my body, my choices... and some changes were good and others hurt & took time for me to adjust and remeber that in the end beauty would be restored into my life and my heart. although, i am still waiting for some "flowers" to bloom inside i know that they are right around the corner. high school is sucky. that is all i can say. so far i have lost so many people & so many beautiful things that i don't know how to go on some days. it hurts my heart more and more every time that i sit down and give my mind a chance to comprehend it all. i hate it.

{part II. letting people in} when you finally realize that life is too hard and the road your own can't be walked alone you let people in. you skip all the 'getting to know you' stuff, with people, & you tell them everything you find someone beautiful, lovely, kind, & honest and you just let it out in a way that you never thought you could! then you go into a downward spiral...they don't care anymore, they don't want to help, it all becomes too much for them to handle. so they leave, they hurt in a different way than you, but they still do. they take the easy way out & forget about all you told them. turn it into lies & just a bunch of *you know what*. it hurts you more because you're all alone again. so you cry for night on end...

{part III. finding love & then loosing it} you find that one guy who understand you who you trust with all your heart...then your friend finds out and starts wondering if he is even an 'okay' guy for you to have in your life. once she finds out what he did to you last weekend, he needs to be killed. but, it is hard to say good bye because he needs you & you need him. you're not sure how to go on with his 'love' & companionship. so, you ignore your friends warnings & your friends thoughts about him. it turns out shes right, you shouldn't be with him or even within 100 yards of him. love? could i even be in love at the young age of 16!! you know i though love was supposed to be beautiful & secret between too beings. something they shared alone. i don't know, something special.. they she sends you a text, a week after you and her both start to think you really are in love with him, saying that "you need to move on, stop thinking about him, lose his emails, & email password. just forget about him, it won't be easy but it will be worth it. you deserve better." so you do, and she it there every step of the way. {thanks becca! the BEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL, & AMAZING junior ever!!! along with the AWESOMELY NICE kat!}

xoxo -Hails

soon to come..... {part IV. finding hope} {part V. friends forever} {part VI. ending the year on a pretty note}