What..... | Ch.6 part 1&2

Ch. 6 Part1&2 Sisters


Once Pilar and I had talked for almost two hours on the phone. She told me at the end of the conversation that she needed advice from me & help from me. I was really confused & surprised. I am usually the one who needs help & plus she is older. So, when she asked me for advice on her life I was honored & felt super special. We immediately planned a date & time to get together. I needed to see her anyway.

As light turned to dark after dinner, I decided to go inside and do a little journaling....

Dear Diary,
Sorry I haven't been around lately I have been really busy with school & my wonderful boyfriend! I miss you more than you know. I really do enjoy writing down my feelings about my life & really during this time in my life. I have a lot of life things that I need to let out and tell someone who wont judge & hate on me & my thoughts. Tomorrow I am going to see Pilar for the first time in a LONG time! I am so excited & also really anxious. She has to tell me something & needs help. I hope I can help & please let her be ok. :) I am so tired so I will write again soon, I promise.
xo Hailey

I quickly got ready for bed and read a few chapters in my book, then hopped into bed & thought. I thought about a lot of things. Mostly how much I loved & adored Pilar for being there when I needed her. I thought so much about it, I had a flashback of the night I came home so anxious & excited. The night I met Austin. It was at a party for my friend & she had mentioned him before but, she never mentioned how cute & sweet he was. I introduced myself & soon realized that I really enjoyed his company. He was the sweetest, it was like we had known each other forever. :) I began to go into a day dream of him & I going on the perfect date. Then a snapped back into reality. I had to go home early sadly but, I got to dance with him; "Die Young" by Ke$ha. I felt so complete & loved. I went home that night anxious & excited to see him again. I called Pilar & we talked for hours about him. I was really falling hard, I needed to snap out of it and realize I needed to take it slowly.....

I finally went to bed.

The next morning, as I got ready for school, I got two texts from Pilar about meeting her after school for a "911" problem. I replied "That sounds great, sorry for all your troubles. I know it will all work out, sis. :) How about we meet at Starbucks at Lunch? I can get out of 6th period" She replied really fast this time: "YES!! OMG, thank you. I love you, hails!" I was overjoyed to see her again & the thought that I could help her even more...special me.

2nd period went by fast, all we did was have a quick class meeting about our projects & then we had the whole 2 hours to ourselves. I ended up talking with Josh for a little and then went back to my desk to write a little in my diary.

Dear Diary,
I can't wait to see Pilar, I hate the reason why we are meeting but I can't wait to see her again. I love her more than she knows. I hope that soon I can tell her about Payton. Today in homeroom, payton was there & she kept kicking me & whispering fake stories to the other people in the class, about me. I hate it. I wish that she could go away forever. I though my life was perfectly imperfect....then payton came along & killed it. Please, Diary. Do something to Payton Jokins.
xo Hailey.

I like knowing I have my diary to confide in when I feel as if no one understands me. I enjoy the thought of coming home to write in it. No body knows about it, & no body has to know. I just enjoy writing in my diary. I think that Pilar should start one. I also have one on my phone, it is very helpful for on-the-go writing.

After I went to talk to Pilar, I went home to a crazy household. My two older siblings were FINALLY home from college for the month & I was over excited to see them.

"Joshlyn!!!!! Pearson!!!!! Hey, I missed you guys!" I reached out for a big hug, like usual, but nothing.....not even a 'Hey!' back. I was disappointed. I walked over to the basement door, it was proped open & I could hear someone yelling.

"I told you to lock the door! What you couldn't get up put on a robe & lock the door? It would have taken 1 minute!!!"
"Your right, I wanted to stay in bed with you! Sorry for loving you."
"Oh honey, you and I both know that it not true, you are just too lazy!"

It hit me. My sister, Cierra, caught my parents. I always knew ever since Pilar told me about when she caught her parents, that it was only a matter of time. But, it really did suck that it was the little one. I was sure Joshlyn & Gianna were in my room comforting her & answering some pretty weird questions. I really wanted to help so I rushed up stairs to find them.

"So why was that happening?" Cierra's sweet naive voice filled the long hallway to my room.
"They love each other very much. You will understand it one day, sweetie." Joshlyn's caring voice filled my heart with glee! I ran down the hall & rushed into my room, to give Joshlyn a big & long hug.
"Hey, girlie! I've missed you!" She said
"I have missed you way more! I have lots to tell you, I  also really need some advice."
"Okay, begin!!! I want to hear it all! What is up?"
"Private advice...." My eyes glanced over at Gianna & Cierra, hinting that it was confidential.
Joshlyn turned toward Cierra & Gianne, "Hey how about you two go down & find the gifts I brought back from the UK?! Okay?" She had to say it or else, they wouldn't have listened to me.
"YEAH! Let's go Gianna! I wanna presant!!" Cierra raced Gianna out the door. Joshlyn followed & shut the door.
"So what is wrong?? Is it about a boy? Mean girl? Puberty?" She kept guessing & I just had to interrupt & burst into tears. "Uh oh, is it that bad? Darling you can always call me? Why did you wait this long?"
"I couldn't tell you over the phone. I needed you here. I need you more than ever, now...." I  began to spill everything Austin & I having sex, Payton, my anerexia, & my terrible secrets. She sat there with tears in her eyes, waiting for it all to be over. Se always was an emotional person but, when it came to us, her siblings, she hurt the most knowing we were hurting.
"Oh my love. I wish you told me sooner. Do you remember when you were in 7th grade & we went to get your first cell phone &  told you that you could text me "911" anytime for anything, anytime? It still applies through my college & adult years!" She giggled & wiped both our tears.
" I know, I thought about texting you last week but, I couldn't help but feel guilty after writing up the message. I wish I could have hit send but, I just couldn't. I am sorry." We reached out & comforted each other.
"Don't be sorry, sis. I love you & sometimes you are crazy but, I know you are mine."
"Thanks, I just wish I told you sooner. I think that next time I will text you."
"Good idea. So my advice on all of this... If Austin is sweet enough to talk & love you the way you should be talked & loved to than he is a keeper. However, if you are having second thoughts you should definitely talk to him about it. He will understand & totally talk to you about it. Second, you need to tell mom about your sickness. She helped me through it & I think she is the best person to go to at this stage in it. You are too fragile to waste anymore time thinking about it. I can totally come with you to tell her, for support. Now about Payton, I had a girl like that in my life for a little while & I found it easiest to just ignore her. If it gets really bad ask your home room teacher to remove you or her from the class. It wont be easy but you will feel a lot more comfortable & at ease. Last, try not to keep your secrets to yourself if you can & feel comfortable tell mom, me or even Pilar. We are all here to help & love you. You should write in your journal and make it a daily thing." I felt over joyed & a lot more at ease with all my issues. Once Joshlyn put my pain to bed, I was super excited to spend the month with her. I felt so happy & lucky to have her.